Running on empty ...

The Gym that is across the street doesn't have spin classes that fit my schedule, so I have been going over almost every day and bringing my ipod and making up my own spin class.  I have some favorites that I play every day, in almost the same order (imagine that!!!! the fact that I like repetition!  anyone surprised at THAT?), but even those songs are getting rather old and tiresome.  Yesterday, I was flipping through the library, looking for something new, wishing I had brought my glasses so I could actually read the titles, when I came across an old playlist.  Clicked through it .... not this one .... not that one ......  Desperado .... yes ... played it twice, heavy hill both times ..... then found it.

Jackson Browne's Running on Empty. Only four songs from the album, but the title is what I wanted, and to hear The Load-Out/Stay.

I feel as if I could stay just a bit longer that I could accomplish sooo much ..... that there is SO much work to be done here. Not that I want to stay, I am pretty excited about seeing everyone on Friday (most especially Jim, who said he would be at the airport waiting for me "with bells on") ....

It's a conundrum, for sure.

The last few days I have felt as if I have zero energy.  Getting out of bed feels like a task, walking to school takes effort, even going to the gym - I have been cutting that short.  Today, Subina and I went to Kalkfontein to say goodbye to the caregivers and to Joyce.  I almost feel asleep in her living room, under those dolphin curtains. It was so warm and stuffy and she was telling a long story, and we had just had a cup of peppermint tea, and somehow my brain seemed to think it would be ok for me to doze off ....  until I came to my senses and thought that might be misinterpreted as bad manners.

Which brings me back to my original thought, which is that I am literally Running on Empty.  There is no fuel in the tank, the well is dry.  Tomorrow, round about 3:00 South African time (which means 3:45 and in a panic), I will put the trip into reverse and head east on the M2 towards Cape Town International Airport.  Beyond the power plant towers that are being demolished next Sunday, I will not be here for that.  Beyond the Coloured township back wall where the goats and cows graze, right next to the on ramp to the M3.  Beyond where the gangs have graffitied their beautiful blue script.  We won't take the Stellensbach Arterial Road, which takes us to Kalkfontein, nor will we take the Langa exit.  We will check our bags and I hope that Customs doesn't notice the baggies filled with spices that I am bringing back for Jim, or the curry leaves which look strangely like some other sorts of leaves.

And then, before I know it, I will be in Dubai again, and then, I will be .....

home.